I don’t know what it was about today, but for some reason disappointment was dealt in doubles. This afternoon I went and sat through Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (more on that in a minute), and then later tonight I anxiously watched the series finale of HBO’s Sopranos. Now, I certainly don’t consider myself qualified to critque either on any really meaningful level, but I do consider myself qualified to say that they both sucked complete ass.

I have to admit I haven’t been an avid fan of Sopranos since it first aired in 1999. No, I only jumped on the Sopranos bandwagon within the last couple of years. I had seen a few episodes prior to that, but the show didn’t really capture my interest until around the time Ralph burnt up Pie Oh My, resulting in a gruesome death at the hands of Tony. Since then, Sopranos has been a constant fixture on my DVR’s recording list. I’ve watched pretty faithfully, but the last mini-season has seen my interest start to waver. Without going into too much detail, I will say that the last season was mostly boring shit. It just seemed to drag, and I wasn’t terribly impressed with the almost hurried manner in which many of the main characters were laid to rest. In my humble opinion, it was as if the writers just said “screw it” and didn’t put forth much effort on the last nine episodes. I realize that it was no small task attempting to find an ending worthy of such a juggernaut of a series, but to end it the way they did was a slap in the face and a kick in the groin.

I’m glad to see that I’m not the only one left scratching his head; as someone so eloquently put it on the Sopranos entry at Wikipedia (which has since been locked down and the comment removed), “Yeah, what the hell? They lived happily ever after or is thier the Sopranos movie or what?” This person, shitty speller that he or she may be, summed up my feelings pretty well. Don’t worry, I don’t want to ruin the “surprise” ending for you, just in case you haven’t seen it yet. I won’t tell you the Phil Leotardo gets shot at a gas station and has his head squashed by his own SUV. I won’t let it slip that Carlo becomes an informant, potentially screwing over Tony pretty badly, or that the Satriale’s loving FBI agent helps Tony’s crew find Phil. Don’t worry about me saying anything regarding that whiny little brat AJ accidentally setting his own car on fire while making out with his hot girlfriend (who he insists is just his friend). Most important of all, I will make absolutely no mention of how just as the suspense is building during the last few minutes and it looks like Tony is going to get whacked in the diner, the screen goes pitch black for half a minute and then the credits roll, leaving viewers to wonder just what the hell was going on.

Seriously though, what the hell?

EDIT: It has been suggested on the Wikipedia entry that the screen abruptly going black at the end was due to Tony being killed. Makes sense, but I hate the ambiguity of it all. Will we ever find out what really happened?

EDIT #2: After thinking some more about the ending, I’ve come up with a theory regarding why they made such a big deal out of Meadow being unable to park. I think it could have been a reference or metaphor for the difficulty that the writers faced when trying to “park” the series. Maybe they were trying to say that they attempted to find a suitable ending and were unsatisfied with many of the possibilities they came up with? After Meadow finally gets her car parked, she’s seen running to the diner to meet her family. Could this be the writers trying to tell us that because they spent so much time considering endings, they ultimately felt the chosen ending was too rushed?

…

After spewing my opinion of the finale of Sopranos, I really don’t even want to bother on Pirates. I’ll try to sum up my thoughts briefly:

• Stellar effects (especially Jones — the level of detail they put into his costume and CGI enhancements during the last two movies has been amazing)
• Long. Too long — 167 minutes, and it still felt like the story was slapped together all half assed
• The William / Elizabeth romance is laughably weak, and the Elizabeth / Sparrow thing was even more lame (“…You thought I loved him?”)
• There were too many alliances and deals going on; I needed a pad and paper to keep track of who was allied with whom
• William as the new Davy Jones? Come on.
• No Kraken? I guess I can kinda understand why Lord Englishdude Teabags forced Jones to “slay his pet” but couldn’t they have spent another 30 seconds somewhere in the movie clarifying his motives for wanting it dead?
• Keira Knightly is hot. And annoying. And apparently content to see her beloved husband William only once every 10 years
• Calypso — WTF?
• Sparrow’s movie-long dimentia — WTF?

There you have it. Today could have been a pretty memorable day cinematically, and instead it crashed and burned horribly. It’s no wonder I prefer to read about gadgets and software instead of watching TV or going to the movies…